some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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