Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
