yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
