I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
