Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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