If that was your dad, he is hot
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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