elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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