Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
