He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
