i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize