you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
