Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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