I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
