i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
