3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
