Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
