Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
