Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
