what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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