i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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