how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize