theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
