this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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