He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
two words...techno handjob
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
