dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize