wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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