never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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