I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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