i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Its about making memories worth repressing
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
