Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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