Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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