whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
do nipples grow back?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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