I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My ass is underappreciated
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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