question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
