I skipped work to stalk him.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
