just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
