Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
