I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I need to calm my uterus...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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