I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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