You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
