i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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