she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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