I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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