No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
