Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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