All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
