So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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