hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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