why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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