you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
