You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
