I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize
