So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
