how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
