I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
