sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
