Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
