the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
