dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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