Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
