I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
