And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
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That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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