five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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