Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.