Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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