i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
